Meth Priest 1

Need crystal meth? Dildos? Leather masks? Porn mags? Call 1-800-PRIESTS.

But seriously: Even by the perennially messed-up standards of the Roman Catholic church, Monsignor Kevin Wallin is, as they say, a piece of work. The New York Times explains:

One church worker told diocesan officials that parades of men were visiting Monsignor Wallin at the rectory at all hours. The diocese looked into it, and, as [church spokesman] Mr. Wallace said, “We heard enough to believe that he was engaged in sexual activity in the rectory.” Other church workers said he was also involved in cross-dressing, as were some of his visitors.

When his colleagues decided to look a little closer, they

…found a bag stowed in the rectory containing adult pornographic videos, sexual toys and leather masks.

Then things got weird. Like, all druggy and stuff.

[Wallin] was living in a snug apartment in a matter-of-fact two-story building in Waterbury, in a humble neighborhood of shoebox-shaped apartments. He was also renting the unit across the hall from him, where authorities said a confederate lived. This was his new demarcated principality, where law enforcement officials said he sold crystal meth. At least once, they said, he hid drugs in a magazine and made the exchange in a parking lot. An informant told agents that the priest was also an addict.

So Wallin at least wasn’t addicted to prepubescent cock, for a change. Good. I like a man who doesn’t bow to peer pressure.

New York drug enforcement agents got on to him from a New York drug distributor who said he met the priest at a party in early 2012 and began buying from him. The man became an informer. New York agents tipped off Connecticut agents, who enlisted help from the State Police. An undercover officer, according to authorities, made six drug purchases from Monsignor Wallin. …

Neighbors said men streamed into Monsignor Wallin’s apartment, many of them arriving in cars like BMWs and Corvettes. Sounds of sex could be heard. He stored cases of good wine in the basement, as well as glass pipes and bottles of butane. He was seen doing his laundry, which included lace panties and other articles of women’s clothing. Officials said Mr. Wallin was buying an adult toy store in North Haven called Land of Oz and Dorothy’s Place. Authorities suspect that he wanted to use it to launder drug money.

Through it all, the Bible kept exerting a certain, um, influence on Mr. Wallin.

Presumably to make the purchase, he incorporated a business called Rahab and Endor. Rahab was a woman mentioned in the Book of Joshua usually described as a prostitute. Endor may refer to the Witch of Endor, a sorceress identified in the Bible.

Wicked!

“You looked at him like he was God, practically,” said Charlie Hall, a Danbury parishioner who lives in a shelter. “But now you realize, he’s just human, like all the rest of us.”

Aye. I would hope that that’s his flock’s takeaway. Teaching them to see the man behind the curtain may be the best thing the Monsignor has ever done.

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Note 1: Kevin Wallin is innocent until proven guilty.
Note 2: The drug war is stupid.
Note 3: I don’t personally care whether priests make the beast with two backs, or with whom, and how, as long as their partners are consenting adults.
But if the allegations prove true, did Mr. Wallin break his priestly vows, and violate all Jesus-y decency he told his colleagues and parishioners he stood for? Yessum, that he did.