Jesus Finally Returns, and His Name is AJ Miller 2

Waiting tor Christ to return to Earth? Then wait no longer: I’m happy to report that — Hosanna! — the Messiah is already living among us, in Australia, and that he has Tom Cruise good looks and an Aussie accent.

Meet Alan John Miller (a little disappointing, “Miller,” isn’t it? I mean, “Carpenter” would have been perfect).

Anyway, Miller is a former Jehova’s Witness pastor who’s had his share of trouble. His mother tried to commit him to a psychiatric ward. He fell out with his church over an incident with a prostitute, so he started his own religious organization, and of course graciously volunteered to head it.

After Miller realized he was the historical Jesus, reborn in the 20th century, he took a girlfriend and told her she was Mary Magdalene; however, he turned out to be oddly fallible with that proclamation, as he soon kicked out Mary Magdalene #1 and traded her in for Mary Magdalene #2. Incidentally, this latest Mary had no knowledge of her first-century self prior to meeting Miller, but these days can barely stop bawling when she recalls in vivid detail how her beloved was nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago. See the video (below).

These days they surround themselves with dozens of international followers, including small children, in a religious center deep in the Australian bush. You can read more about the darling duo here and here and here.

Pop quiz: In the video, the guitar-playing Messiah can be seen and heard strumming a song, starting at 17m57s. It’s pretty cheeky, when you think about it. Do you recognize the tune?

Click on the blanks to reveal the answer. Jesus the Second is playing a song by Tears For Fears called, appropriately enough, Mad World.