Pastor Priester Pulls Unlicensed Gun on Repo Man

I wish all criminal clergymen had such names.

[Pastor] Terence Priester, 48, of Claymont, DE, faces felony charges of aggravated assault and possession of an unlicensed firearm, in addition to multiple misdemeanors stemming from the incident.

At 12:45 p.m. Sunday, police responded to Saint John’s Episcopal Church, located at 404 E. Levering Mill Road in Bala Cynwyd [Pennsylvania], for a report of a man with a gun.

Once officers were on the scene, police said, they were met by the victim, a repo man. The man told police that he was at the church to repossess a Lexus that belonged to Priester and, in accordance with company policy, had called the owner to tell him the car was being taken.

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Police said that as the repo man was positioning the tow truck, Priester walked out of the church with a handgun and pointed it at the victim. The repo man told police that the pastor “challenged him” with the handgun, then got into his Lexus and drove away.

After they arrived, police called Priester, and he returned to the scene. Police said he was unarmed at this time and was driven by a third party in a separate vehicle. He was arrested and charged.

The Rev. Priester is a pastor at Light of the World Ministries International.

What Do These Christian Kids Think They’re Doing? What About Their Parents?

Sometimes I’m dumbstruck when I see how people practice their religion. These folks, below, are anything but. They can’t shut up — and the mystery is, no one has a clue what they’re saying. Not even they do.

I’d wager that glossolalia (speaking in tongues, as this preacher does at 5m34s and at various other points in the video) is, for the most part, learned behavior. And the learning, evidently, starts young.

When adults perform this insanity, and they claim it brings them closer to their chosen deity, I reckon there’s no harm in it (other than that it helps destroy rational people’s faith in humankind, of course).

I’m not so sure about their offspring. Should kids be encouraged to carry on this way? Or is this a form of indoctrination bordering on child abuse?

It does remind me an awful lot of this pro-teeth-brushing scene from a Barney show, but less funny.

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‘I’ll Pray For Your Kin, For a Fee. Or They’ll All Die.’

Nigerian clergyman David Sunday told a teenage girl that her family was in grave danger, and offered to pray for their wellbeing. Not for free, however.

He convinced the lady to first give him whatever money she had, “So she went to the bank and withdrew GH¢130 [about $65] for them,” said Deputy Superintendent of Police Stephen Kofi Ahiataku.

After the prayers, the pastor ordered her to go home and bring some more money and all the jewelleries in the house since they had been contaminated by bad spirits “and that she was not to mention it to anybody or risk losing her life instantly”.

According to [Ahiataku], the lady obliged and returned with an amount of GH¢2,600 [$1,300] which belonged to her parents, and all the family jewellery including gold ornaments which she handed over to the pastor in a hotel.

The pastor asked the teenager to wait for him in the room whilst he went to a different room to pray over the items and the money.

He never returned, but police now have the man in custody.

Of note: The African news site that published this story is not an atheist operation. It publishes general news with a focus on Ghana and neighboring states. Nonetheless, the list of headlines of “related stories” at the bottom of the piece is worth taking in:

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Those servants of God are keeping busy!

The Pastor and the Prostitute — A Morality Play

Shortly before last Christmas, when youth minister Chris Allen Phillips of Virginia’s Mechanicsville Advent Christian Church was in the mood for some extra-marital pleasure, he went soliciting online, and soon found himself in flagrante delicto with Tonya Farnsworth, a lady of the night.

Not long after the steamy encounter, Ms. Farnsworth informed her holy-man client that she had incriminating photos of him, and inquired if he would please be so kind as to make a series of payments to her. Mr. Phillips, deciding that he had no choice, acquiesced to the extortion, dropping off payment after payment, sometimes almost daily. In total, he is thought to have supplied his terrible temptress with the princely sum of about 100,000 dollars.

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It seems that $20,000 of that amount might have been drawn from Mr. Phillips’ own funds. With his personal well now arid, who better to pay the price for his commercial philandering than the church that employed him? And so he took from it what he needed, secure in the knowledge that the Lord will provide.

However, after having illicitly gathered $80,000 from the church coffers to satisfy (strictly monetarily now, mind) the greed-filled Jezebel, the pastor was queried by some local constables who’d gotten wind of his thievery; and for his crime, they did arrest him and threaten him with jail.

The broken man of God will make his appearance before an earthly judge in a week or two. It is conjectured that he has already been forgiven by the Celestial Magistrate, whose spiritual largesse includes absolution for both thieves and indiscriminate fornicators as long as they profess belief in His son. Membership, as the slogan goes, has its privileges.

[image via NBC New York]

Pastor Defrauds Church Day Care Center

A former pastor in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, is accused of misusing money from the church daycare center, forcing it to close. Ronald W. Lukat, 65, turned himself in after learning of the charges against him.

Lukat was the pastor of Gatlinburg Presbyterian Church from early 2011 until last December, when church members said they became aware of irregularities in the account used by their Child Care Center. They said Lukat volunteered to oversee the center’s finances when the center’s treasurer stepped down, not long after the pastor’s arrival. That left Lukat in possession of a credit card used to purchase supplies for the center, as well as overseeing its fiances.

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It appears that Lukat used the credit card for the purchase of about $3,600 worth of personal items.

The newspaper report mentions that the pastor’s Gatlinburg address is on “Money Maker Circle.” That must be across from “Den of Thieves Way” and just a block from “Temple Cleansing Avenue.”

[image via source]

Shitty Parenting

Highly religious Colorado Springs is sometimes referred to as “the Evangelical Vatican.” Like any other city, the place has its share of crime and misery, often inflicted by the faithful themselves. Such is the case here (courtesy of the Denver Post):

The mother of a 13-year-old boy who police say was living in a home littered with human feces has been placed on administrative leave from her part-time job at a church nursery.

Sharon Starkey [right], who was cited Thursday for child neglect along with her husband, former Colorado Springs Councilman Charles Wingate [left], worked at the First United Methodist Church of Colorado Springs nursery on a “very part-time” and “as needed” basis, Leanne Schreiner, director of administration and finance, said in a statement.

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Starkey has been a long-time member of the church congregation.

Police went to Starkey and Wingate’s home just after noon Thursday after a neighbor reported not seeing their son in about a year. Police found the boy naked and alone in filth.

The Gazette reports it’s even worse than that:

Police found the boy, described by officers as “autistic,” living in what they called extremely unsanitary conditions, which included live and dead rodents in the residence.

“The boy stated he is an only child, home-schooled, and does not remember ever being outside the house. Neighbors confirmed they have not seen the boy outside in several years,” police said in a news release.

Police said code enforcement condemned the house as unsafe for living.

Wingate’s two-year stint as a councilman was unremarkable except for his unlawful and unethical behavior.

Wingate was a Colorado Springs City Council member from 2001 until his resignation in 2003.

He left office under a cloud following accusations of embezzlement, forgery and fraud,

and pleaded guilty to felony embezzlement of public funds shortly after quitting the job.

He was ordered to jail in 2006, after a judge found he violated probation in the case.

Texas Worship Leader In Jail For Child Porn

Another devout pillar of the community.

John Raymond Williams, a seventh-grade science teacher at Gonzales Junior High and a music and worship leader at Faith Family Church in Gonzales [Texas], was arrested Wednesday in a raid by state officials.

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According to the Gonzales ISD website, Williams has five years teaching experience, and is certified to teach fourth through eighth grades. In information about Williams, the website says he is a music/worship leader at Faith Family Church, and that his wife and at least two of his children also volunteer at the church.

He is suspected of both possessing and having uploaded child pornography images to a social networking website, and  faces five third-degree felony counts of child pornography possession, each punishable by 2 to 10 years in prison and up to a $10,000 fine.

Pastor Wrote Sermon While Watching Child Porn

Pastor Cedric Cuthbert was working on an Easter sermon when there was a resurrection in his pants.

A custodial manager at Disney’s Port Orleans resort is accused of watching child porn at work while writing an Easter sermon for a Sanford church where he is the pastor.

Cedric Eugene Cuthbert, pastor of the Historic St. James African Methodist Episcopal Church in Sanford, worked for Disney for more than seven years before his arrest. He has since been fired.

_Cedric Eugene Cuthbert_ - Google Search

Disney’s monitoring system takes screen shots of employee computers every three seconds and recorded Cuthbert writing an Easter Sunday church sermon on John chapter 13 verses 1-35 and Psalm 148 while loading pornographic YouTube videos involving teenage girls. That portion of the book of John tells the story of Jesus’ prediction of Judas’ betrayal and Psalm 148 tells all people to praise the Lord above all else.

Murdering the Infidels: a Creationist’s Cartoon

I found this cartoon on Answers in Genesis.

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I love how happy all the cannon-blasting Christians are.

If it were my religion, I probably wouldn’t want to associate it all over again (even just metaphorically) with conversionist bloodshed, violence, and the wanton destruction of unbelievers’ property. But that’s just me.

Miami Jesus Candidate No Match For Voodoo

North Miami elected a new mayor yesterday. Weirdly enough, it wasn’t this woman:

uTC2EdZ

Anna Pierre, a registered nurse who claimed she was being endorsed by Jesus Christ, finished last among the seven candidates with 56 votes, or just 0.83 percent.

“Yes, Jesus endorsed me!” Pierre said during a stop at the Gwen Margolis Community Center Tuesday morning as the polls opened. “I’m not nuts, if I’m a freak and nuts for Jesus, let it be! Let the world know that Jesus is it and when you have Jesus on your side you can go on.”

It appears that Jesus’s magic was no match for the supernatural forces of evil that conspired to keep Nurse Pierre out of the mayoral mansion. You see, last month, Pierre revealed that someone was trying to put a voodoo spell on her.

The voodoo items placed outside her campaign office have included candles, food and dolls with pins stuck in them. Voodoo is practiced by people in Haiti, and around the world, including the U.S.

Voodoo has a spooky reputation, but it is a bona fide religion.

If you say so, NBC. If you say so.

[hat tip: Hemant Mehta]

Christ-Loving Blogger Mom ‘Stabbed Man in the Ear and Slit His Throat’ During Drug Deal

The Kansas City Star describes Clara Jean Rector as “a sweet, small-town mom of three, churchgoer and author of a Christian blog complete with testimonials, prayer requests, and photos of sunsets.”

Ms. Rector’s blog is called Pray Read Live and includes earnest instructions on “How To Live As a Christian.”

Blog advice from Clara Jean Rector

Above: great moral advice from Clara Jean Rector

The blog doesn’t offer any particular wisdom on stalking or murder, as far as I could tell, but those are the charges Rector now faces.

In reverse chronological order:

Late last month, Jerry Sousley, pastor of the Camdenton Bible Baptist Church [in Missouri], contacted the Camden County sheriff’s office, alleging that Clara Rector had been stalking him and sending him messages “regarding inappropriate matters of a sexual nature,” according to court documents.

When Sousley rebuffed her advancements, the messages escalated, some even showing up on the windshield of his car, the court documents allege. Sousley also found a notebook at the church in which Rector had allegedly written an account of a fictitious sexual relationship between her and the preacher.

Woman confesses to Camden County cold case murder - KCTV5

During the stalking investigation, Rector unexpectedly blurted out that she’d butchered a man named Tommy Hope nine years earlier. She was a “person of interest” in the murder case after it became clear that she and Hope had been lovers and that he’d supplied her with drugs. But the detectives couldn’t make their suspicions stick, and the Hope case went cold. Until now.

During recent questioning, Rector said she left her house in the middle of the night of April 24, 2004, to go to Hope’s residence to buy drugs. When he told her he didn’t have any, she grabbed a butcher knife from the kitchen, “jumped on his back and cut his throat,” documents say. “I was high and not thinking,” she told detectives.

On the other hand, she could really wash the fuck out of dirty windows.

“She’s a great mother, a hard worker, and she’s always cleaned my windows and taken care of my garden,” said Gerry Rector, the longtime principal at Camdenton Bible Baptist School.

So there’s that.

Pastor Dishes Out Kindness With a Loaded Gun

Father’s Day in the Shuck family is going to be a little awkward this year.

Madisonville Police say area pastor Jay Shuck was arrested after he pointed a loaded gun at his family.

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MPD says Shuck struck an officer while being arrested and was Tased.

Shuck is the pastor at Parkview and United Methodist Church in Madisonville, Indiana. He has been charged with wanton endangerments, third-degree assault, second-degree disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest.